“The Million Dollar Question”

Well, it’s happening. Everywhere I go and no matter who I talk to, I just can’t escape it. It follows me, watching me, waiting for me to drop my guard so it can pounce on me and catch me unawares. And every time it does, when it finally chases me down, I react like this is the first time it’s ever happened. Crazy, huh? No, I’m not talking about something out of a horror movie (although it often feels that way). I’m talking about that one, little, seemingly innocent question that people just love to ask of, “So, Laine, what are your plans after you graduate?”

…

Ummm… Uh. Well… you see. Actually…

I DON’T KNOW!!!

Is that okay? I have no real idea about what I’m going to be doing after I graduate. And I’m content with that. I guess I often feel obligated to come up with a concrete answer to that question, but the fact is that I don’t really have a clue. What I find myself telling people is more along the lines of what I know I don’t want to do. I don’t want to go right into grad school. I don’t want to find a job that has anything to do with my major. I don’t want to move back home with my parents. Things like that.

And the thing is, I’m at peace with all of that. I love my life right now, and I know I’m going to love my life four months from now. Things are definitely going to be a heck of a lot different, that’s for darn sure, but I’m still going to enjoy it. I’ve had a few opportunities come up of things I could do, too, amazing opportunities that would be so ideal for a person just coming out of college in the midst of an economic crisis. And I plan on going for those opportunities with the mindset that if those things happen, awesome, but if not then that’s not what God wants me doing right now. I want to be in that place where God has me exactly where he wants me, that place I’m supposed to be. And when I do find that thing I’m supposed to be doing, that “calling” if you will, I want to be passionate about it. I want it to consume my thoughts because I just can’t get away from the idea that this is such a great fit for me. Call me optimistic (or even irrational) but that’s what I want, and I’m confident that God will reveal those things to me in time. I don’t want to miss the thing out there that God truly has for me because I jumped on something simply out of a desire for security or safety. I want to stay open, and enjoy all that I end up doing.

So come three months from now. I’ll be getting my diploma. I’ll still be asked, “What are your plans now, Laine” and I’ll still have no real idea. And again, I’m okay with that. Really, I am. I’m 22 years old. I don’t need to have it all figured out right now. I don’t need to stress over it. I just need to embrace that awkward transitional period I’m headed into right now and be okay with all that come with it.

Okay, I’m starting to feel like I’m rambling on about the issue so I’ll just stop while I’m moderately ahead. Do you feel me though? I hope so. Bring it on, Life After Graduation. I’m right here, and God’s got my back. Peace.

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